the days are long...

...and the years are short..

i was just lying next to lincoln, thinking how utterly delightful it was to sleep next to him.

he's only little for so long, so this helps me to really feel like i'm soaking it in. he doesn't sleep all alone in another room; perhaps were isolated enough as it is in western culture. if i'm going to have a family we're going to be a family: sticky and bonded, sharing small spaces hmong style. i know he feels secure...half asleep he'll swipe clumsily out with a fat baby arm, reaching for the familiarity of soft skin, for mom or dad, and he never has to worry, because we're always right there. in puts peace inside of me.

they fall asleep before me, and i just stare at them, creeper like, thinking they are so beautiful. ever see such great baby cleave?

he's soft and chunky and so sweet and pure. for reals. he laughs in his sleep and i just about die from pure contentment.

link, brand new, being rocked in tyler's arms. happiness.

he hasn't been taught anything, so in my mind that translates to him knowing everything.

his mind is open, there are no walls or ruts or prejudices or pettinesses. his universe is as big as it really is, it hasn't been pruned or groomed or utterly compartmentalized/reduced. i think maybe if i meditate enough i can create a state of such openness? (probably not....see? that's proof.)
how, as a mother, do i keep help to keep it that way?

i can help teach compassion, i can prevent passing down my own sad judgments

with teddy i tempered (hid) my arachnophobia so he wouldn't inherit my fear, and now spiders are treated with deference and respect.


(admittedly there is a bias in our home, however....i point out how "cool" it is to recycle, or how "cool" someone is when they are riding their bike through town, or how "uncool" that 4-wheeling person was ripping through the suburban park...okay, so i don't really use the word "cool." maybe i'm already a lost cause. sorry, teddy.)

air show. my spouse is an air traffic controller so my family is a little geeked out on aviation. i think the wright brother's are cool, but the big airplanes i saw (like the f-16) just scared the pants off me in a primal way. it's like the sky was being cracked. sonic BOOM! initially tyler's job sounded industrial and militaristic to me, but it's actually cooler than that. he doesn't commute with his odd hours, doesn't work in an office, and doesn't wear a suit. every day is a new experience, and he's satisfied because he's contributing to a lot of people's lives in a positive way (safety first.) and with four day work weeks (no 9-5 blah) and great dental insurance: win/win/win. i also get to go up in the tower: win.

had to share: they played "free fallin" with a sky diver and a huge US flag ...

he crashes hard, bouncing and skidding, and it appears these boy scout types are running to his aid. we stare in horror. they run right past him and start folding the flag. tyler and i share incredulous looks.

my three loves. gotta love a daddy who wears his baby.

spoils (aka: the cheapest one.)

off topic? i grew up in the woods, and as i child i was fascinated with the concept of a "neighborhood," you know, sidewalks and friends playing kick the can and walking around. my mom told tales of an ice cream truck from her salt lake city suburb childhood, and i was enchanted, and wished that one would come to my rural home. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR. :) the music of the ice cream truck haunts the hot late afternoon streets with kid luring songs: turkey in the straw, pop goes the weasel, and happy birthday. ("come little children, i'll take thee away...." what, never seen hocus pocus?)

i'm happy to say that my soul is coming out of a very tight and long lived cocoon.
xoxo
more to come from suburbia, breastfeeding (you can't wait!), good vibrations, i promise.

catching up...

we do this a lot. (he eats and i lay down.)

 aka: hello internet, again.

having a baby + no internet really makes a lady feel behind.
a quick super duper blog will take care of that.
and with my new fast (but no longer free) internet the pictures jump up like fire,
so bring them on.
the last two months, in no particular order:

baby leggin's out of thrift store socks? a doy. (that's fancy speak for "duh," and yes, it is annoying.)

teddy brings me "salads" ; mustard greens, kale, and arugula. he's got quite the palette.

it is adventurous to hike. it is even more so to hike with two wee bairns. loch leven, tahoe forest.

you tell me.

big hills wear on all of us.

a river dip trip

what a fat baby! 3 months old.

gearing up for the universe, me and d.

homey love, the paths i wandered, and my dad's immaculately groomed manzanita. manzanita pride, people, it's a grey pine zone thing.

!!!! be still my beating heart. (they fall asleep when i read stories...not really, only link does.)

mackenzie (and jared) let us spend the night...que generosity! she then showed us around sunnyvale, her new town, only to be moving back to berkeley next month! what a whirlwind.

we drove across the nevada to utah. another story, another day. it made for many milk stops.

growing...

growing....!

....asleep. his hands! my land! in baby proportions he is much larger than his parents.

summer solstice, chased the sunset all the way to pacifica. <3

well, it was warm when we left roseville...

teddy, in a deli. we drove through the golden altamont to tour tracy, ty's hometown til he was 18. trips down memory lane are awesome.

teddy's got shark style.

eclipse!!

aww...one year anniversary.

bring it on, universe.

d and baby L, river.

mountain matriarch i have become! my willing and brave posse! sentinel dome.

linky's first trip to yosemite (home again, home again...for me.) i think the casper family has a new may tradition.

teddy is a scrambling lizard, what a great little hiker.

county fair!

the heavenly chow of fresh mex, bff's d and nathan.

grandma, and glacier point.

(can people take away from this place? muir, speak to me! there are signs for every spring, and parking lots! but i can smell the glacier's ghost.)

yosemite falls in a stunning grey gown.

our yearly cactus adoption.

oh, you jokers.

what a schmooze.

the smiths are a great band. and mackenzie has green eyes and loong legs...whoo-ee.

i feel like a few things are missing...lincoln was blessed (religious stuff), the lady mallard had her ducklings, and jazzy jazz, our homeless cat, is probably less homeless since my garden bed smells like cat dump. i'm still going to eat that kale.


happy summer to you and all a good night!
i promise i'll get back soon, my internet family/life philosophy diary and friends.