seeking the wild of the everyday

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

for matt and amy

: the truth.
practicing freedom.

we're back in the world where bills are delivered and dirty laundry begs to be washed - it waits, regardless of the magic that remains in the other realms, the realm of the road.

i was summoned by the call, by the wild, and drove into the limitless possibilities.
i had been drawn to utah and your home for months now, and ignored this persistent little voice until it drove me to action.
there are a few journeys that call to you, and they wash you with blessings and visions, take you where you need to be to grow.

eating dinner under a milky way so bruised and mottled, unseen in such a purity by my town in decades.

the desert sunrise, painting the red striped mesas pink.

green valleys, shimmering with cottonwoods, deep in the red stone bowl created by ascending cliffs.

protoge. wink. ;)

my fellow dreamers and schemers. oh the dreams are big and reachable. we know we make our lives what we want them to be.

winding through canyons to celebrate edward abbey; the passions he inspires, nourishing the earth and her anarchists.
post "wrenched!" viewing, q&a with the film maker and leader of the glen canyon institute, funding research in support of dam removal and canyon restoration. be still my beating heart.

edward abbey,
a hero, a warrior
a wild human, he preaches the good word
wild sunnies at sunset, swooon.
it was a tall glass of pure gold straight to the soul.

eco-terrorism is the act of destroying the environment for money.

working on my movie with an amazing creative crew, sunburns and cousins.

waning gibbous.

the good life, digging deep, relaxing freely in the moment of pureness

where heart and action are perfectly intertwined; following the heart leads to moments of clarity and purpose.
we are propelled further on our path, expanding in truth and limitless, unlocking glorious jewels from the hidden chamber of the soul.

it takes courage to align our actions with our true selves,
but when we do the soul gulps the waterfall of abundance and truth.

there, the fantasy of economics, statism, materialism, dissolve.
and the world as it really is, and the perfect freedom of peace and wholeness, are exposed.
we remember we are free.

i strive to wander more.

as we drive through rural areas exploding with development we ask: what builds community?
housing tracks?
home depots?
chain restaurants?
walkie talkie

you both are active in a small pocket of progressive and holistic community builders in provo.
a small organism of connected people growing as a healing force...this is what true community is.

(unlike the enclosed and disconnected mass of people of my town...let's build community!)
carl me amy

our caravaning families created a tight, symbiotic intentional community: where body and soul, young and old, are nurtured and supported. we're stronger together,
practicing for the long haul,

where the transience becomes less transient, and the house rolls along with us,
never waiting empty on some suburban street.

i stole this pic from your fb. next time our selfies should feature matt.
i always crave a kindred. i think i really found out that it has been you all along. the cards told me i'd find my people on this trip. ;) deep conversations, shared dreams, and our eldest sons sharing a unique genetic trait. watching you with jarom helped me understand my interactions with teddy, and that we're both good moms. plus kids who play together? even better! i think i'll be tagging along a lot more. xo

i don't care if you guys leave in the middle of the night, in a wind storm, because your tent broke. ;P

oh, the mothering instincts are strong in this one. bella is a dream girl. linky calls her "friend," and truly feels loved by her.

this quest has ends,
we understand more,
having lived deliberately,
sucking the marrow out of life.
we. are. free.

SUMMER 2015, east coast here we come!!!! :) xoxoxoxo

Monday, September 8, 2014

little suburb on the prairie

so, the book i was going to write has already been written. whoops, missed that boat. this was a fun one, if you're a bonnet girl. wendy mcclure takes the fandom to a new level.
oh, goddess, the wilder life was sort of the book i was going to write. i remember the day dreams i had of the little house world, the simplicity, the wide open prairies that were "an essence of a dream..."

wanting to go there, see it, smell it--

wanting to hear the creak of my family's wagon wheel, while the endless wind tousled the tops of virgin grasses.

little house represents what so many of us want: purity of purpose, freedom to roam, self-sufficiency and the forgotten skills involved, unhindered (un-enslaved?) by modern conveniences and convention.

When did I know i'd be some sort of fanatical return-to-the-lander? anti-establishment-er?

as a teen, reading thoreau, whitman, and emerson: rational framework to earthen spirituality , i just love those home-grown transcendentalists. Of course there was london, who inspired me to halt all bathing (not that he ever publicly condoned such behavior) and commence praises for the Primordial Beast. Into the Wild was the cherry on top of my “evils of society/redemption through wilderness” sundae. but it goes even further back. I can't count how many times I read Hatchet by gary paulson or laura ingalls wilder's Farmer Boy and Little House on the Prairie. pair the themes in these books alongside an upbringing from a mother who was enraptured by rainbows and sunsets and a father as stoic and precise as an audubon field guide and it seems that me that my fate as earthy freedom seeker beet lover was set. (moon in sag. ;)  )

from a childhood picture book. "one of my favorite books." classy, dolly, classy. but it's probably still true.
NOT PICTURED: FARMER BOY. ooooh yeah. please read that one. every little detail of farming life is described in detail. I WAS INTO THAT AT 9 YEARS OLD!

farm stand.
scripture for me muses about the purity and magic of the natural world, and our place in it.
so we read earth lovers and wild hearts (whitman, kingsolver, dillard, abbey, berry)

those who revel in sprouting seeds and the glory of the quartered seasons.

the ills of society, convention, and convenience,
how little we produce,
and our dependence on the shrinking few who produce.

the novelty of people who spin, weld,

sew, can...
i see so many of my generation curious about these arts, (including myself) and i am heartened. it was a way to sustain life, larger than a hobby one enjoys after writing their blog or perusing netflix.

farm food.
deeply ingrained in me is a resistance to the conventional suburban lifestyle, and i'm sure many reject it on moral and aesthetic grounds.

but ...but.. there is the allure of the bourgeoisie... (dear, how does this cruise to maui sounds????) 

my brother joe just returned from a two year mormon mission in ohio, where he served in both sub/urban and rural areas. his favorite area? the one with all of the grocery stores and hip chain restaurants and plotted-out subdivisions with culdesacs and playgrounds... you know, Suburban Anywhere, USA
fuck it.

i'm ready for my cow. my blisters.

many times i feel like despairing, and the attachment to my ideals is the culprit.

farmer sandwich
living in the moment is what keeps me full, intact...

i nudge at the status quo, nay, i snarl at it. i wrap my babies in close to me .
i feel overwhelm infinitude at the state of the world
what will their world look like? what can i do?

cutting the nut sedge from the asparagus patch.

letting go isn't the same as being apathetic. despair is not productive.

growing scobys.
hi-ho cherry-o, with a two year old.

tyler lives up to his name: bathroom tile that looks like wood.

just a little guy with tap shoes.

free hugz.

spider eggs.

apple season. (pssssst......DONUTS).

yep. :) s'bout time.
we have one last chapter in little house on the prairie. teddy and i read a chapter every night. this is our second go through the set and golly, it makes me happy to share it with teddy.
first day of school.

who here was shaped by prairie dreams?

let us part with thoughts on the coming equinox:
 september, meaning nothing but transition, axis, dimming, long shadows.
 nights collect a pooling cool.
 the only clue we have that the season is shifting is where the sun is sitting at seven in the evening.
 there's an urgency in the dryness.
 this is how i'm rooted to the earth: with wrapped arms.

happy full moon to all of my beloveds!