oh i, i better learn how to face it...she's gone, i'd pay the devil to replace her..."
i'm in love i'm in love and i don't care who knows it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...with my mother-in-law, tami casper.
today she drove away after staying at my house for two months, and i called my husband and cried.
there's an ache in my heart that can only be described as the flattened carpet of where her air mattress used to be, or the future dirty dishes that will pile up in the once sparkling sink....
how can i tell you, internet readers, how much this grand lady means to me?
she was there in a time of great need within my very own little family.
she has seen me naked, she has seen me scream and sob, she has seen me greasy and scared to live another day...
never once did she tell me how to be a mother, or a wife, or a home maker.
she was never anything but compassionate, and helpful, and selfless, and pleasant; a friend.
she shopped for the house and cooked meals and kept the house clean round the clock...
she entertained and fed a rowdy four year old, did laundry, and was an extra set of hands for when the baby was fussy...
she sewed 30 beautiful cloth diapers.
she stayed at our house, away from her husband, and two other daughters that are equally busy with their own little families
she saved our lives.
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| see how cute his diapers are? |
i love you tami casper. and the only way i know how to thank you is by promising that i'll get better, and that everything is going to be okay here. we'll stay in touch. we've had some good times, eh? ;) (i know, what a paltry way to describe the end of an era but i'm floundering here for the words.... you.... so ...special....)
love, dolly
awe.... Tami is the greatest. I can't believe how amazing one lady can be. What a angel in a time of need in deed. But I'm dying over these new photos of the boys. Such sweet kissable beings!!! I read the other day on "wonderwall" from MSN that Gwyneth had postpartum real bad for up to a year!!! We got to remember our troubles are a blink of a eye in this life. It makes life so much sweeter. The other day I wanted to run away (ever hear that one before ? ;) )but once i was away for a bit I realized I was running away from everything I LOVE and can't live without. This crazy life is just over flowing with blessings. I was able to see that doing the dishes and helping the kids make their beds were the things that come with such great gifts and I need to embrace it all! How lucky are we?! I'm sooooo looking forward to finally meeting the cutest little lug bug. I just want to smash him into me and just melt into one. I love you so much Dolly. I feel so sad that you have been going through this. I can only imagine how impossible life must feel. I prob already told you that story where I had real bad depression for 24 hours. It was the biggest wake up call of my life. I had NO IDEA just how unbearable depression can be. It is the scariest thing. Even though it lasted way too long of one day and night at the time I was hanging with bonny tons and just could not understand why sometimes I could not make her 'snap' out of it. Gave me a whole new view and def made me grow an extra heart for her. I love you sooooooo much. can't wait to give you and your babes big lamey amy hugs!!!! xoxoxoxo love you
ReplyDeleteOh Dolly! You are so sweet to say these things! But really, I am the one who has been blessed to be able to be here with your little family. I have learned so much from YOU! You have been such an example of endurance and perseverance to me. Heavenly Father has big things in store for you. I just know it! You have been through the refiners fire and I KNOW you can do this! Thank you for putting up with me for so long. I miss you all! Love you!
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