rainbow weather

lunar healing

Forest of my heart 

can we talk about the dreams?

(douglas fir buckeye maple toyan manzanita black oak ponderosa pine, and the tenderest of wildflowers)

soaked from running in the rain. i chase after them.

checker flag and manzanita.

feeling moody from this full moon and tides

and then it crashes

spilling over

there are wounds we revisit.
no better time to get real than spending the full-moon eve tucked into the woods of the motherland,
sleeping in my old room

and sharing the evenings with my parents.

i spent my childhood barefoot here with twelve brothers and sisters,
raised by proper nature loving folk.

i now follow my children through the same trails, up the same trees,
along with my sister's children.

there is bliss
and deja vu


and a great deal of new understanding.

 fat clouds casting shadows
and rain drops.

yellow sun heating up our dampened sweaters.

douglas iris

pipevine swallowtail

thank you thank you thank you       for that astral body spins out of control... finding center. i told myself that if i found you that would be the message. and i found you. 

houndstongue

a new season a new rush 

A New Concept

following the children 

take a pikcha and send it to my dad. okay link.

my apologies for the variant in photo quality. the majority of these photos were captured by a 2013 water-resistant kyocera phone .. :P the other cameras are usually under-powered. 

finding mushrooms
hunting tadpoles 'n mosses

hearing come catch me come catch me !


(yelling it out a few times myself)

a huge mushroom!

Their excited voices as they share their discoveries,

Throwing sticks, jumping over ditches
Skipping stones,
we come alive outside,
we find our true selves,

the core.

this is how spring feels. the kids get wet and we wait for the clouds to make their way so we can feel the sun.

 the children are like beavers, little engineers, moving earth and wood to explore the change in water.

slow it sink it spread it---- rain water is so precious, we dam it enough so it doesn't run down the hill as quickly, filling the underground aquifers and really feeding the roots. trees store water too.

Teddy and autumn tracking us the whole way 

practicing their hunter skills while the rest of us forage and play

It just finished raining..
The sound of tiny waterfalls and bird song

nature heals us every time 

come across the pond I have a secret for you

that's a poisonous mushroom

let's go over here
Teddy won't show me his secret hide out

happy spring obligations to fertility.

the next day:

i'm packing. and i don't know where i'm going. panic isn't the default, mostly wonder and curiosity. i can go anywhere.

happy hunting. hid some treats for the pups in ty's back yard. (my old backyard, ;p)

agaricus? horse mushroom? meadow mushroom?

his very own growing.

 let's go i said-

commune with a waterfall in the most heart singing green valley

thank goodness for teddy that's a baby king snake! they're not venomous. he talked about this snake all day.

ahhh, spring in northen california--- a mushroom i'm too lazy to ID, happy poison oak, and turkey tails.

deep in the canyon

fairy lanterns lighting the way

 all i see is my mother.

give me just a taste. i'm listening.

our little guy still small enough to lug up trails.

can we talk about how much we've grown??? <3 <3 <3

teddy stepped on my glasses. snap.
linky wandered through poison oak.
the water was contaminated with ecoli.

and damn,

we felt good.

wrapped up with tea and harry potter with teddy.


the adventure continues..


polly compost

don't hesitate-- integrate

these march days \

spring renewal, again and again,

spring days rushing by,

picking up speed

coiled bottle brush

shadow

 finding balance between passive and active,

receptive and extended-- 

spending as much time outside as possible.

it's a blossoming and Gusty world

preaching Serendipity search for Clues

 this kid turned four---- i spent the afternoon following him around, rubbing his soft hair and nuzzling his cheeks, well aware of how quickly life changes... nearly heartbroken and busted from the pure love i have for this child.

 always beloved, always adored.

 the most precious prince. our babies grow

I remember the first time I held you.
never before has there been such an intense satisfaction and relief.
I had done it. your birth cracked me open for ever and ever

homebirth story here:  http://idlelovewild.blogspot.com/2012/03/in-like-lion.html  

i jangle when i walk--

camera straps and keys--

small rocks slowly grinding into dust and sand,

gifts from my beloved sun son

 haven't been able to do much these days other than bask in the sun, getting my batteries charged.

wild garlic blossom hummus and toast

sifting through the annals. i'm an experiencer of magic.

 mourning the loss of my children's baby days,

rejoicing in their sturdy and well-formed growth,

like feeling the trunks of 8 and 4 year old saplings-

little apple trees little pines

their countenances growing bright--

it's natural, as a mother,

to worry.

obsessively.

am i fuc**ng my kid up?

it's a hard question to ask,

i know every single one of us wants to do better,

and we can and will,

but to also be forgiving of yourself--

i trust that everyone does the best they can

doing all sorts of time travelling today. trance.

it's incredibly bitter sweet,

an intense sensation,

to watch a child grow into something

you didn't possibly think

 you could love anymore

attached to the experiences and growth

occurring in this small space,

like my own cocoon.

i don't know what's next.

i know i've never experienced it yet.\

it's always so new.

i think that's what i wanted:

an adventurous life.

trusting.

dates with starhawk

if you dream of the Goddess, if you dream of Her, you are obligated to work for Her for the rest of your life-  inez talamontes

just a peasant girl chopping vegetables enjoying the simple pleasures in life, this kitchen is another amazing part of the journey.

work:

love this restaurant

and just like that a lot of my goals came to fruition and it felt good--- :) check out those unclear salad stats-- :P

communing.

vernal pools soaked and glorious 

again, thanks to chrid for keeping these starts cozy during the wild march rains and winds!

my first car/bike accident.

i legitimately crashed into the turning side of a large pick-up truck.

i can still feel the way my hand felt gripping the soft break as my bike maintained the speed, 

i can't really remember what happened.

i know i served right and hit the side of the truck with my body.

SHIT!SHIT!SHIT!

there was full bodily contact along with a crunch--- i don't remember which side i fell to, 

i picked myself up off the ground laughing with a shocked quaver---

i'm okay!

sore as hell.

 bike ride therapy, savoring the green

grey skies are treats

the rain has been magical

asking myself to be brave.
to accept the highest good.

i've taken leaps of faith,
you skin your knees and cover great distances---

now i need to learn how to plod
#tortoise #hare

called again and again to permaculture,
a world of hope for the idealist,
and meeting my people

xo polly compost,
planting radical seeds.