suburban transcendentalism: April 2015

ace of wands.

butterfly season.

this is happening.

floatsam and jetsam from the changing tides:

(i'd like to thank tim kasher sufjan stevens lcd soundsystem modest mouse elliott smith the smiths neutral milk hotel beck etc for keeping the loosest of ends together.)

do you have a springtime fire under your butt?

good bye baagan, you have brought me the people i need and i appreciate your role in my journey.

old roseville backyard. with boxer dog abbey. :)

a room of her own.

streets that feel good for us to wander: old houses and trees and rickety old cars.

scopin' local farms for inspiration.

long lost brothers. heeding the karmic clan's call of the farm !

ahhh, sweet sweet cattail hollow.

it's been decided: we're the three most awkward humans, reunited.

the rebel alliance is strong at the farm. (jk. i can't even pretend to know what star wars affiliation this mask represents, but teddy will tell you.)

progress and work/progress and work. feelin' a little behind but always excited of what we're capable of together! i feel so obnoxious with my enthusiastic punctuation!!

feelin' saucy on the broad fork, a most beloved tool >--- see exclamation point.

some of the best days of my life have been lived here: i know what it's like to hunt a wild dream and call it forth.

goldfields? xoxo

the skies brought moisture and we marveled at it all.

we need a lot of wandering time.

tiny house.

baby joe got married and i love my siblings:

holding golden, my newest nephew, for the first time. xoxo

dad's happy. we're happy. :) :) can't wait to see everyone again.

selfie during a group photo, how else can i get a shot with the newest sweetest couple?

the contents of my 7 year old's backpack.

fiduciary duty:
written permission.
date of marriage?
date of separation?

the pen spat in scratching strokes my cramped name.

remember that time i signed teddy away for adoption?

tyler gave me a friend's coupon book. i think this is the first one i'll use.

well, this feels sort of like that.

"isn't there anything i can just sign so we're done?"

tyler and i laugh with sad eyes. this is easily that hardest thing we've ever experienced together.

"no, not "i-e", it's "d-o-l-l-Y."
"oh, hehe, well, if you're going to get sued we better spell your name right!"
i start crying.
then laughing.
oh goddess i can't stop laughing.

i'm quickly slipping away into my wildest soul. i wince at the pain.

NO.
we will not be making lists of furnishings.
or expensive appliances.
we'll do this ourselves.
DIY DIY DIY DIY.

truth be told this is a hurt that i can't identify-
this is a hurt that empties the air from my lungs.

waiting together for linky's first day.

we communicate. we communicate like we know it's our only option getting through this systemic land-mind unscathed. underneath it all is true love, pure love. i love him so much i weep when i think of us truly parting, the way we've needed to for a while now..

it hurts. but we're here because we love each other. it's time to set the other free.

linky's preschool (roseville community preschool, the mother of teddy's school next door) is never-never land. it makes my heart so happy to be there.

first day of preschool: success

always, though, will these be my favorite mornings and moments, when we meet at the park and co-parent. that will never change.

we will always find our own way to be the family that we are.

tiny house: so scary. but so right.

we love our new home. we rent a room in a little house, in a bustling, character-filled, old part of town. this ain't the suburbs. oohh, wait........... do i need to change the name of my blog? OMG.