don't hesitate-- integrate

these march days \

spring renewal, again and again,

spring days rushing by,

picking up speed

coiled bottle brush

shadow

 finding balance between passive and active,

receptive and extended-- 

spending as much time outside as possible.

it's a blossoming and Gusty world

preaching Serendipity search for Clues

 this kid turned four---- i spent the afternoon following him around, rubbing his soft hair and nuzzling his cheeks, well aware of how quickly life changes... nearly heartbroken and busted from the pure love i have for this child.

 always beloved, always adored.

 the most precious prince. our babies grow

I remember the first time I held you.
never before has there been such an intense satisfaction and relief.
I had done it. your birth cracked me open for ever and ever

homebirth story here:  http://idlelovewild.blogspot.com/2012/03/in-like-lion.html  

i jangle when i walk--

camera straps and keys--

small rocks slowly grinding into dust and sand,

gifts from my beloved sun son

 haven't been able to do much these days other than bask in the sun, getting my batteries charged.

wild garlic blossom hummus and toast

sifting through the annals. i'm an experiencer of magic.

 mourning the loss of my children's baby days,

rejoicing in their sturdy and well-formed growth,

like feeling the trunks of 8 and 4 year old saplings-

little apple trees little pines

their countenances growing bright--

it's natural, as a mother,

to worry.

obsessively.

am i fuc**ng my kid up?

it's a hard question to ask,

i know every single one of us wants to do better,

and we can and will,

but to also be forgiving of yourself--

i trust that everyone does the best they can

doing all sorts of time travelling today. trance.

it's incredibly bitter sweet,

an intense sensation,

to watch a child grow into something

you didn't possibly think

 you could love anymore

attached to the experiences and growth

occurring in this small space,

like my own cocoon.

i don't know what's next.

i know i've never experienced it yet.\

it's always so new.

i think that's what i wanted:

an adventurous life.

trusting.

dates with starhawk

if you dream of the Goddess, if you dream of Her, you are obligated to work for Her for the rest of your life-  inez talamontes

just a peasant girl chopping vegetables enjoying the simple pleasures in life, this kitchen is another amazing part of the journey.

work:

love this restaurant

and just like that a lot of my goals came to fruition and it felt good--- :) check out those unclear salad stats-- :P

communing.

vernal pools soaked and glorious 

again, thanks to chrid for keeping these starts cozy during the wild march rains and winds!

my first car/bike accident.

i legitimately crashed into the turning side of a large pick-up truck.

i can still feel the way my hand felt gripping the soft break as my bike maintained the speed, 

i can't really remember what happened.

i know i served right and hit the side of the truck with my body.

SHIT!SHIT!SHIT!

there was full bodily contact along with a crunch--- i don't remember which side i fell to, 

i picked myself up off the ground laughing with a shocked quaver---

i'm okay!

sore as hell.

 bike ride therapy, savoring the green

grey skies are treats

the rain has been magical

asking myself to be brave.
to accept the highest good.

i've taken leaps of faith,
you skin your knees and cover great distances---

now i need to learn how to plod
#tortoise #hare

called again and again to permaculture,
a world of hope for the idealist,
and meeting my people

xo polly compost,
planting radical seeds.